Lilly-livered Pirate: A Pirate’s Tale
Ahoy!
Me heard tale of this landlubber of a gal, Miley Cyrus, performing her mu-sic here in the salty, but dry state of Utah. Ah, Utah tis close to me heart, but it ‘bout tears me soul out to see such lovely water with no waves. I s’pose I could imagine it, but tw’ouldn’t be the same. I miss the call of the Ocean, and the wide, wild waves, threating to dash ye to pieces. I could stare at ye yonder sky, I s’pose, but tis not the same, though it is beautiful, and wild in it’s own way, bless it’s heart.
And all this sand. Sand, dry sand, an’ not a Sea Turtle for miles around – this desert, I suppose ‘tis just like the Ocean o’ me heart, only without the lovely hearty smell in the morn’n, an’ no wind in yer face, unless ye stick yer head out in’ traffic. I miss the excitement of the Sea, ye see. The only excitement around seems to be in this ‘Stadium of Fire’ people are gabb’n about lately, and this Miley Cyrus.
What would make a right-o land-lubber like Miley Cyrus sing like she does? Must be a bit o’ mer-fish in her blood. Mermaid, or such. She would make a Sailor go mad. That siren can sing a tune to rival some of the Sea Chanties me used to sing. I miss the sound o’ the waves on the rocks, and the oceans, but that gal is a right bit of goodness, and t’would go far towards mak’n a great evening.
A few moments of the nice concert t’would go a long way towards help’n me land-locked, sea-lov’n self have a great, stupendous Forth of Ju’ly.
And me did hear something ‘bout Fireworks – we didn’t have those at the sea, no sirree. Must be a land lubber thing, ‘nd something me old heart can get used to, aye!